Friday, May 22, 2009

As A Mum

I read RPK apology to the public many times over and each time I tell myself not to say my piece but cannot help it.

Many people have different opinion on this but let me share my experience. I have five children between the ages of 14 – 25. My children are all strong-headed and good hearted. They are not super intelligent but I like to show off when they bring home trophies and certificates for their studies and activities. Honestly which mum would not do that?

I choose to be a homemaker through personal choice and background. It was not easy. I had no elders to seek for advice and help. My first born was like a guinea pig, going through fail and adjusted experiments. From making his milk, changing of diaper and even stupid enough to listen to some friends who told me to add in nestum into his milk when he was only just two weeks old. Eventually I became an expert on managing and can do things with my eyes close. The crying and attention seeking did not even bother me any longer.

One day in 1992 my son and three others including neither here nor there Muslim convert Vincent Tan’s nephew was molested by their class teacher Nora Zam Zam in Sri Kuala Lumpur. The case was brought into public attention when Nora Zam Zam turn the event into a racial issue and Othman Merican (sex addict because he screws his school clerk in his office daily, while his wife is checking the school compound) the owner of the school tried to cover the case. Nora and the school sued me for defamation and I lost. Till today the judgment had not been written, files and record missing and my appeal case is still hanging in the air. The judge had already retired. This is how powerful money works.

It was a sad and rather bitter experience for me. I felt betrayed by an institution that was supposed to educate but instead had my son masturbated by a Muslim woman.

It was this incident that makes me more protective of my children. This brought about another ugly event. My son kept his disappointment to himself when he failed to achieve the necessary grade in form six to enter University. He lost confidence and started to rebel on every proposal suggested by me. We came to a point of not able to communicate with each other and even fought physically at the slightest provocation. One day he just packed up and left. He left a note to apology for the hurt he had cause me and said that he really do love us all but I did not give him the chance to grow and be himself. Unlike most parents I was lucky that some good Samaritans taxi drivers from puduraya talked my son out of running away and brought him home. Till today I can still feel the pain and regrets of that event though my son was only gone for 12 hours.

I have mellowed much and now quite often I have to remind myself to listen more and to open my eyes widen when it comes to my children. Every child rich or poor goes through a transition period. As parents we must accept and try to listen and understand them. In the heat of an argument words and action can damage relationship. There is no correct answer and solution to every family problem. But I make sure my door remain open to them. To make a child is easy but to bring them up is challenging. The bond of a mother and child can only be broken through death not by words or action. A father can never feel that special link because he never had a child growing inside his body.

Marina and Pet, if situation permits, go and visit him. Show him the entrance to love again. I might be wrong but what I saw in his eyes tell me he needs your love and support more than ever.

Take Care.

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