Father's Day

Father’s Day 2007: “Let’s admit to ourselves that there are a lot of men out there that need to stop acting like boys; who need to realize that responsibility does not end at conception; who need to know that what makes you a man is not the abilities to have a child but the courage to raise a child.”

Father’s Day 2008: “Any fool can have a child. That doesn’t make you a father. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.”

Father’s Day 2009: “We need to step out of our own heads and tune in. We need to turn off the television and start talking with our kids, and listening to them and understanding what’s going on in their lives.”

Barack Obama showcased fatherhood in a series of events and a magazine article in advance of father’s day. He said he came to understand the importance of fatherhood from its absence in his childhood homes – just as an estimated 24 million Americans today are growing up without a dad.
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Malaysia population is estimated around 27 million. I strongly believe there are about 20 million Malaysians who grew up without the presence of their fathers.

I am not talking about orphans or children whose fathers have die. I am talking about living father who are never around for their families.

All my friends grew up from abusive homes, fathers who have more than one wife and the all time fathers in name only but missing for long period of time.

Today I am going to talk about a man I know and understand but cannot forgive.

A by nature is a timid man and has a soft heart for women. His only greed is money. Way back when I first knew him, he was already married with two wives. I will only write about the first wives' children. Why first wives? His first wives are cruel, mean and always rely on bomohs for their needs.

N supported A when they were together. From the union they have two daughters. The eldest daughter was the only one abused and neglected by both parties. Both parties were in the wrong by having affairs outside their marriage. When A started his own development company and make some money, N asked for a separation and took their eldest daughter to England to study. The daughter was send to boarding school since the mother could not stand sharing the same roof with her but was her only passport to the money. The daughter and mother relationship was just cordial but never more. The daughter sees the father the most twice a year and not more than 24 hours. So you can imagine the family atmosphere.

Then A divorced his second wife to marry M. M borne him a son and convinced A using that and with the help of bomohs to divorced N so that she could be the first wife. Again this marriage was rocky and the son was used as a bouncing ball from one to another to get their way. A got fed-up and sent the boy to America to study in a boarding school.

Sad to say both the daughter and son share the same fate and grew up without their father’s love and presence. But both of them are rich beyond their means today because of their father’s wealth. So it is true that one cannot have both in life. Love and Wealth.

Ida, do you remember what I said to you in Watford?

To my children you are very lucky and should appreciate your father more. Happy Father's Day Jamil.