A Mother's Heart

 

THIS IS MY LAST PIECE TO THE ONES WHO WENT ASTRAY.

MOTHER'S LOVE CAN BE EASILY MISUNDERSTOOD BECAUSE OF  MISCOMMUNICATIONS AND MISTRUST.

I HAVE ALWAYS LONGED FOR A CLOSE KNITTED FAMILY BECAUSE I WAS BROUGHT UP IN FOSTER HOME.  BUT OVER THE YEARS SOCIETY AND RELIGION HAVE TAKEN OVER WHAT I CHERISHED AND BUILT AS A FAMILY.  I TRUSTED THE CHILDREN I BORE AND TO THIS DAY I THOUGHT MY LOVE MY STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD THEM TOGETHER.

AS A MOTHER I HAVE FAILED.  BUT THEN MOST FAMILY ARE LIKE THAT TODAY.

TODAY CHILDREN ARE VERY MATERIALISTIC. THEY THINK THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE IS GREENER AND MORE BEAUTIFUL.

EVERY FAMILY HAS ITS UPS AND DOWNS BUT LACK OF UNDERSTANDING CAN DESTROY THE WHOLE HOUSEHOLD.

I NEVER ONCE OBJECTED TO THE MARRIAGE OF THE FIRST.  I ONLY WANTED WHAT WAS THE BEST BEFORE THE MARRIAGE.  THE BOY CONCERN WAS NEVER BROUGHT UP TO RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE'S CULTURE AND FAMILY VALUES.  AS A MOTHER THIS WAS A DANGEROUS SIGN THAT THE FIRST WILL BE CONTROL IN THE NAME OF ISLAM.  THE PEOPLE THEY MIX WITH ARE FROM RELIGIOUS GROUPS ESPECIALLY THOSE FROM ACEH.  BEARING IN MIND THERE IS NO RESPECT FOR WOMEN, I FEAR THE FUTURE.  TODAY TO CONSTRAINT HER, BOMOH ARE BROUGHT IN. SO WHY ACCUSED ME OF OBJECTING TO THE MARRIAGE WHEN I WAS NEVER ONCE CONSULTED OR WERE IN THE PLANNING.

THE YOUNGEST WAS GROOMED TO REPLACE ME AS A WIFE, WHICH NO ONE IN THE FAMILY BELIEVE.  AS A WOMAN I CAN SEE THE SIGNS AND MOHD JAMIL NEVER DENIED IT. AGAIN NO ONE WANTED TO BELIEVE THE TRUTH INSTEAD BLAME ME FOR THE FAILURE OF THE MARRIAGE AND FOR ASKING FOR A DIVORCE. WERE THEY EVEN AWARE THAT MOHD JAMIL SEEK BOMOH HELP AGAINST ME?  THE RELATIVES AND FRIENDS EVEN ENCOURAGED SUCH ACTION.

THE YOUNGEST SON HAS PRIDE AND EGO LIKE HIS PENIS.  HE THINKS ONLY HE IS CAPABLE OF BEING ON TOP WHILE EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY ARE BENEATH HIS FEET. FORGETTING MY STRUGGLE AND YEARS OF BRINGING HIM UP AND GIVING HIM WHAT I THOUGHT WAS THE BEST.

I GAVE MORE LOVE, CARE AND WHAT I THOUGHT WAS THE BEST FOR THE YOUNGEST TWO. BUT IN VAIN WHEN THEY ACCUSED ME OF BEING STERN IN DISCIPLING THEM. THEY CLAIMED I CALLED THEM A LIAR AND A THIEF WHEN THEY WERE 9 YEARS OLD.  TO THIS DAY I CANNOT FATHOM HOW IT CAN BE WHEN I SPOILT THEM. IN FACT MY ELDEST HAD THE BLUNT OF MY ANGER MOST TIMES WHEN ANYTHING GOES WRONG IN THE HOUSE.

MY YOUNGEST GIRL NEED COUNSELLING FOR HER HEART IS FULL OF HATRED TOWARDS ME NOT REALIZING I GAVE UP PART OF MY LIFE FOR HER.

THE TRUST OF MY FAMILY HAS BEEN BROKEN INTO PIECES WHICH WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

MY ADVICE TO ALL CHILDREN OUT THERE, TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE WOMAN WHO GAVE BIRTH TO YOU. WITHOUT HER THERE IS NO YOU.

TRUST THE ONE WHO BROUGHT YOU UP INTO THIS WORLD.  DO NOT CUT THE HEART WITH YOUR  RELIGION, PRIDE, EGO AND SELFISHNESS.

YOUR KARMA WILL BE 10 FOLD BIGGER.

WITH THIS LET US PART AND NEVER CROSS PATH AGAIN.

THIS IS TO INFORM EVERYONE MOHD KHAIR AMSYAR WILL BE LEAVING BEFORE THE YEAR END.

2020 HAS ENDED MY FAMILY FOR GOOD AND I PRAY THAT 2021 I WILL BE ABLE TO FIND LOVE, CARE AND TRUST FROM OTHERS.