A Family that lost its way

This article is dedicated to Mohd Jamil (MCKK) and his children

When I was 16 years old I make 2 wishes. The first I wanted was a Family meaning a good husband and children living under one roof happy together forever and forever, and the Second - career being a secretary.

Both wishes were granted but……………

I was brought up from a busy family who takes the trouble to have at least two meals a week together, after dinner everyone from the neighbourhood and relatives would gather together in front of the idiot box to watch Batman or Man from U.N.C.L.E or 3 stooges (we didn’t have idiots from UMNO then) or Get Smart. School Holidays were good times in one of the government bungalow in Port Dickson. When a boy wants to date the girls in the house, he has to come and ask permission from the man of the house. Family were always together in good and bad times and we talk together every day.

Religion was never in our family discussion or conversation neither was it forced in school.

The mosque nearby went about their business without a sound unlike today where one can hear the loud calling like they were inside our bedrooms.

So I had a family.  I brought up my children in similar fashion and my husband was prefect.

Things were fine till the Arab culture and so called Islamic values creep into my life.

When my girls were forced to use the Tudung in school I complaint. The teachers backed away. They escaped temporary.

Then when they entered University, BTN insist they use the Tudung otherwise no money for their studies. So Tudung came in.

When my girl was overseas studying, UMNO Islamic Freak went there to further their stupid teaching and thus enter the reciting of Arabic wording without understanding began and many activities has become a MUST BE FULLY COVERED EVENT. In all these seminars and events collection of money became a very profitable business.

Having a PhD is a plus point when one is looking for a wife.  So enter young and eager male who do not think twice about dating and getting to know the future wife is important.  The minute they enter the house they tell you, they cannot shake your hand because of Islam but wants to get marry the daughter and have children immediately.  If a refusal is not acceptable, the parents of the boy will disturb the man of the house. The excuse of old age of the parents of the boy is unacceptable as I myself too am no longer young.

Till today the boy has not asked permission to date my daughter even though they have been dating for months behind my back and have even travelled overseas.

When the boy is tested for his character it is found to be flaw but the daughter insist LOVE is more important.  So a wedding is without my blessing and my husband thinks all women should have a husband.

My other daughter was taught in Unisel by some Islamic Freak employed by UMNO and PAS, that as a Chinese convert who does not use the Tudung even though I am the mother, she cannot says her weekly good byes in the same manner as to her father and sister. My husband too think that way.

Whenever I am away I always call home, sometimes 3 to 4 times a day to check whether everything is okay.  When they are out, after 10 pm I would call and check when they are coming home. My husband does not bother because he was never brought up to do it but my children, I am disappointed when they behave the same manner without care.

A child should embrace a mother’s kiss and hug especially on a birthday but my third son thinks otherwise.  To my third son, parents are there when needed only.  To him, parents should not be given pocket money or allowances otherwise cannot be a millionaire by the time he reaches 40 years old.  When he was in hospital I took RM9 from his wallet to buy some biscuits for him and got scolded in public for that. He mentally abuses me at every given chance We have not spoken for over two years. When ask to move out, he says why should he.  

The man I married was kind and humble.  Friends used to say I was very lucky.  But like most thing Luck do run out.

My luck creeped out bit by bit.  How did it happened?

We stopped having two meals a week together.  When I joined in the family conversation, I am told to shut up because I don’t know anything.  I am always told don’t ask or don’t need to know.

When I cook, no one eats.

When I ask for help to do household chore, no help is given.

When I ask to do gardening, no reply is given.

When there is a function I am not told till everyone is ready to leave.

Rain or flood, going to Surau to pray five times a day is more important than helping out in an emergency at home.

When I am sick, the husband is having a good time at some restaurant or Mamak outlet.

To my husband it does not matter whether there is food on the table, unpaid bills and debts, is up to Allah to settle, wife is now just a servant and jaga at home and must always shut up.  When unhappy cups are thrown on the floor.

My eldest son is the only one who talks to me, holds my hand, takes care of me when I am sick, gives me pocket money, help around the house, eat the food I cook.  This is from a son who I never dreamt was the best gift God has given me for the second part of my life.

I have been treated like a nobody for the past two years and today I am going into the third part of my life with a wish in my heart that somewhere in the near future I can look forward to someone who will take care of me in similar fashion as my eldest son and may God gives many blessing to Mohd Khairul Anuar.