Why are Malay divorce rate higher than the norm?
I would like to share what I know.
Malay couples do not know nor do they understand the meaning of love and understanding.
Malays do not like long courtship. They want everything fast and they do not want long term commitments.
To the male, marriage is for sex and someone to look after him. Some feel to have babies is a sign of maturity. The male has fantasy that marriage is about having sex daily, someone to cook for him, someone to see to his needs. Someone to share his problems and take care of him financially.
To the female. Wow the pleasure of sex if the men are capable. But in most cases, the men just screw for his own pleasure and cares nothing for the women. So the wonder of sex is putting in the penis and turning soft within seconds. That is why out of 10 women, none are satisfied. But then the women will say it is fated to have a man who does not know how to satisfy a woman. So the woman slowly turned off having sex. Unless you are Shahrizat or Rosmah or Ng Yen Yen, then toyboys are not that easily available for the unfortunate ones. Today there are rubber women for men to pleasure themselves but not rubber men for women, so many are going for the poor cucumber or having sex with their dogs.
The marriages in most cases for the Malay women would be, they have to keep house, pay for all the household bills and if there are kids, then the burden is heavier as men will complain they are tired from working whole day to help out.
I know of many Malay men who comes home from work, turn on the TV and rest. They demand for hot cooked food, they refuse to wash the dishes, mop or sweep the floor, fold the clothes or iron or change the baby diapers. They complain of stress and over work. They will tell their wives to massage them and demand for sex even though the wife is tired from all the chores.
Most Malay men look for capable women. Those with Master or PhD, earning better than them. Women who are docile and does not complain much especially the ones they feel they can control. To the men these are the ingredients for marriage. There is no thought of love, understanding and caring.
I have never come across a single Malay couple who holds hands during their marriage nor do they proclaim love for each other except Rosmah who was seen holding Najib’s hand because of his fear for the present Agong. After marriage one of the spouse will treat the other like servant. Their first demand is a one sided game of satisfaction in bed, next - drink must be serve even though he or she has two hands and legs. Slowly the bills and chores are done by one person. There is no more talking instead commands are given. I know of someone like that in a 45 years of marriage.
Every week I help out at a centre for married couples and it never fail to enlighten me that couples have fail to understand each other, lack of sharing, lack of communication, lack of satisfaction in love making, lack of caring (most people forget the importance of birthday and other celebrations) and most important there is no such thing as saying I LOVE YOU.